I'm The Greatest Star lyrics

Song information

Artist: Barbra Streisand
Album: Just For The Record...

Lyrics

(Listen)
I've got thirty-six expressions--
Sweet as pie to tough as leather
And that's six expressions more
Than all them, ah, barrymores put together
Instead of just kicking me
Why don't they give me a lift?
Well,it must be a plot
'Cause they're scared that I got
Such a gift--well, I'm miffed--'cause
I'm the greatest star--
I am by far, but no one knows it!
Wait, they're gonna hear a voice
A silver flute--ah hah, ah hah--
They'll cheer each toot
(Hey! that kid is terrific!)
When I expose it!
Now, can't you see to look at me
That I'm a natural camille?
As camille I just feel
I've got so much to offer
Hey listen kid, I know I'd be divine because
I'm a natural cougher
(Coughs)
Some ain't got it--not a lump
I'm a great big clump of talent!
Laugh!
They'll bend in half
(Did you ever hear the story about the traveling salesman?)
A thousand jokes:
Shtick around for the jokes
A thousand faces. I reiterate
When you're gifted
Then you're gifted
These are facts--i got no axe to grind
Hey, what are you--blind?
In all of the world so far
I'm the greatest star!
(Speaking)
No autographs please
You think beautiful girls are gonna stay a star forever?
I should say not!
Any minute now they're gonna be out!...finished!
Then it'll be my turn
(Back to singing)
Who is the pip with piz-azz?
Who is all ginger and jazz?
Who is as glamorous as?
Who's an american beauty rose
With an american beauty nose
And ten american beaty toes
Eyes on the target, and wham--
One shot, one gun shot and bam!
Hey, mr. keeney, here I am!
I'm the greatest star
I am by far
But no one knows it!
That's why I was born--
I'll blow my horn
Till someone knows it!
I'll light up like a light
Right up like a light
I'll flicker, then flare up (ha ha)
All the world's gonna stare up
Lookin' down
You'll never see me--
Try the sky
'Cause that'll be me
I can make 'em cry
I can make 'em sigh
Someday they'll clamor
For my dram-er
Have you guessed yet
Who's the best yet?
If ya ain't I'll tell ya one more time
You bet your last dime
In all of the world so far
I am the greatest, greatest star!