Quit Teasin' Me Ed lyrics

Song information

Artist: Cledus T. Judd
Album: I Stoled This Record

Lyrics

Cledus t. judd/vern dant, la-po music (bmi)/music genesis(ascap)

Hey cledus, whad'ya get in the mail?

He-he-he, got a letter from ed

What's it say?

I don't know. d'you get one?

Well, open it up!

He-hahahahahahaha!

...Open it

I quit my job about a year ago, I'm on a permanent vacation
All I gotta do now is sit back and wait'll my notification
You see, old ed, he's a friend of mine, and he writes me once a week
Sends me my very own winnin' numbers
I'm practically on easy street
Well, I don't know, I reckon ed just likes me a little better'n everybody else
I'm sure he's been tryin' to reach me
But uh, I've been out on tour with garth brooks. he-hehehehe
Now, you might think pricin' a mercedes might be a jumpin' the gun
But hey, I got a letter from ed today that said I may've already won!

Quit teasin me ed
...Quit teasin me ed
My kids need to be fed
...My kids need to be fed
I believed what you said
...I believed what you said
Quit teasin' me ed

You promised me wealth
...You promised me wealth
And a new dodge stealth
...And a new dodge stealth
I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead
...I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead
Quit teasin' me ed

They say the odds are again' me
But I got my own little scheme
Instead of just one or two, I order all the magazines!
I get glamour, cosmo, redbook, seventeen, good housekeepin', and popular mechanics
I even got bored one time and ordered the joy of ceramics!
Now ed, I can't sing or dance, and I'll never be on star search
But if you don't hurry up 'n send my check, I'm gonna start thinkin' you a jerk
Well, not really ed, doggonnit it's been such a long time
My car's been repo'd, my house note's four month's behind
Ed, I don't mean to complain, and I know you're a busy man
But, could you at least send me one of them early entry prizes
I'm you're biggest fan, I swear!

Quit teasin' me ed
...Quit teasin' me ed
My kids need to be fed
...My kids need to be fed
I believed what you said
...I believed what you said
Quit teasin' me ed

You promised me wealth
...You promised me wealth
And a new dodge stealth ...and a new dodge stealth
I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead
...I'll check the mailbox 'til I'm dead
Quit teasin' me ed

Cledus t., you may have already won!