D&D (2005 Bonus Version) lyrics

Song information

Artist: Stephen Lynch
Album: The Craig Machine

Lyrics

[00:04]Harmonica
[00:10]More harmonica

[00:16]I got my twelve sided die and I'm ready to roll with a wizard and my goblin crew
[00:22]My friends are coming over to my mom's basement bringing funyuns and the mountain dew
[00:27]I got a big broad sword made outta cardboard and that stereos a pumpin zeppelin. (dazed and confused)
[00:33]It's that time of the night, we turn on the black light, let the dungeons and the dragons begin!

[00:38]It's d and d!!
[00:42]Fighting with the legends of yore
[00:44]It's d and d!!
[00:48]Never kissed a lady before. nope, I said it, wooo!
[00:51]C'mon you gonna bring the thunder? I'll bring the fuckin thunder, c'mon bring the thunder, c'mon lets go! aww that's nice
[00:57]Why don't you bring some thunder mother fucker. bring some thunder, alright!

[01:02]Now the lord of the rings the dark crystal and things, we use these as a reference tool
[01:08]And when we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes, we're the coolest kids in the school!
[01:15]No we're not. I know

[01:17]Now teich's a real bastard, but a fair dungeon master, he's got hitpoints and charisma to lend
[01:22]And I rehearse in my room or what I call the dragon's tomb when I'm not out with my girlfriend!
[01:27]It's d and d!
[01:29]Wait wait wait, teich, c'mon. I'm sorry. woah hey wait, I'm sorry. hold on gimme one second. what?
[01:34]Dude come on, seriously. what?!
[01:42]You've got a fuckin...girlfriend? dungeon master!
[01:49]That's kind of a dick thing to say

[01:52]It's d and d!!
[01:55]Summoning the demons of hell
[01:57]It's d and d!!
[02:00]When our shift ends at the taco bell. gordita! chalupa!

[02:20]Well my medieval brother, there's room here for another, would you care to take a roll of the die?
[02:25]You guys make me weep, you think that you can keep up with a warrior as mighty as i?
[02:31]See you're in mortal danger, I'm a first class ranger who's half gargoyle and half elf
[02:37]And if that doesn't scare ya maybe I should beware ya what lurks within my gaming shelf
[02:43]Next to my junior high annual lies my monster manual, and my customized dungeon master screen
[02:49]I've got treasures and traps on my graph paper maps, next to my three inch solid pewter figurines
[02:55]So if you think you got the balls, bring on your dungeon master calls, I'll be protected by my robe of destruction
[03:01]And I will leave you both in tears cause I'm the dungeon master here and you two are in need of some instruction

[03:06]It's d and d!!
[03:10]Warriors who terrify
[03:12]It's d and d!!!!!!!
[03:23]Virgins, 'til the day....
[03:30]We.................................
[03:41]O oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ohh oh
[03:47]Do it, oh oh ohh oh {note:oh's from new kids on the block song}

[03:50]No, no, no, no! no!

[03:56]One,two fuck you
[03:57]Die!!!!!
[4:04]Thank you everybody!