Half A Man lyrics

Song information

Artist: Stephen Lynch
Album: A Little Bit Special

Lyrics

All my days
I live with my disgrace
I'm afraid to show my face
Or at least take off my underwear

See I was born
Like a half way neutered pet
I don't have a matching set
It's a part of me
That just aint there
Please, don't stare

Well i'm a gambling man with out two dice
I'm like uncle ben with only one grain of rice
Oh to have two testis would be so nice
But i'm half a man
Yeah, i'm half a man

Wanna die
End it all, just call it quits
I can't find a cup that fits
And at baseball games I feel so dumb
When I hear "ball one"

Oh, my god
How could you have been so cruel
To give me one family jewel
And the one that's there must feel so sad
He's a lonely nad

Well i'm a marathon runner with just one leg
I'm a fallopian tube with just one egg
Oh, I want another testi
Do I have to beg?
I'm half a man

Well i'm a tweedle dee with no tweedle dum
And i'm a siskel and an ebert with just one thumb
And i'm a yo ho ho with no bottle of rum
I'm just half a man
Yeah, i'm half a man